fiction

How to Find Ghosts by Caitlyn Gilvary

The important thing to remember is that, like love, you find ghosts best when you are not looking. Sometimes you will be so tired of ghosts, so tired of looking for ghosts, that you will say “I’m swearing off ghosts forever!” and they will hear this, from the attic or closest or under the bed and they will be sad. Sad ghosts are much easier to find. They will creep out of their hiding spots like children, saying “Here! I’m right here! I didn’t mean to upset you!” But if you are insincere in swearing off ghosts, they will hear that too and they will be angry. Angry ghosts are also easy to find, but much trouble and they will make you regret your mistake.

The second thing to remember is ghosts are not the same as demons, imps, poltergeists, or angels. Ghosts are not the dark cold spots you see sometimes when your eyes move faster than your mind. Ghosts are merely electric humans. They are the bumblebees of the spirit world and they are much more fun to talk to.

Sometimes the ghosts you find will want to talk mostly about themselves. That’s okay – you should be patient with them. It will be your turn to talk eventually, although by then you may be a ghost yourself and will no longer be talking with another ghost but a live human and the cycle will continue.

No matter what happens do not bring up the fact that your new ghost friend is a ghost. They do not like that. They will talk mostly about when they were alive, their time before being a ghost. They may do that for so long that you will wonder if they know they are a ghost. Of course they know, they cannot forget and it is rude to remind them.

If for any reason your ghost mentions your own livelihood, do not accept this as a compliment. Ghosts know better than humans ever will what it means to be alive.

 

Caitlyn Gilvary doesn't believe the internet is the place for cathartic experiences although she has had several there. Sometimes, she writes.